Looks like my home.tempusmaximus wrote:
How about a jokes page, I'll start!
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Re: How about a jokes page, I'll start!
Kip
"Asylum Administrator"
Visit the CWArchives for everything CW. Historical, specs, manuals and resale. It is all there.
"Asylum Administrator"
Visit the CWArchives for everything CW. Historical, specs, manuals and resale. It is all there.
- tempusmaximus
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- tempusmaximus
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- tempusmaximus
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- tempusmaximus
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- tempusmaximus
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Re: How about a jokes page, I'll start!
The actor and the cannon
An out of work British actor went to an agency and asked if they had a job. The agent told him he had a small walk on part in a mediaeval production on Broadway, and needed a very British voice for a one line part.
The line was “Hark, I hear the cannon roar!“.
The actor delivered his line in the style of Olivier, Gielgud, Rickman, Burton and many other great British luvvies, and the agent was impressed. He gave him a first class ticket to JFK and vouchers for accommodation at the Waldorf.
All the way over, the actor was muttering his line under his breath, determined to get it right. Arriving at the theatre shortly before curtain up, he was dressed and made up, still practising his line for all he was worth.
Stage manager: You’re on in 10 seconds, buddy!
Actor: Hark, I hear the cannon roar!
Stage manager: 5 seconds!
Actor: Hark, I hear the cannon roar!
Stage manager: You’re on!
Enter actor, stage left.
Sound effect, deafening cannon.
Actor: WHAT THE F*CK WAS THAT?!
An out of work British actor went to an agency and asked if they had a job. The agent told him he had a small walk on part in a mediaeval production on Broadway, and needed a very British voice for a one line part.
The line was “Hark, I hear the cannon roar!“.
The actor delivered his line in the style of Olivier, Gielgud, Rickman, Burton and many other great British luvvies, and the agent was impressed. He gave him a first class ticket to JFK and vouchers for accommodation at the Waldorf.
All the way over, the actor was muttering his line under his breath, determined to get it right. Arriving at the theatre shortly before curtain up, he was dressed and made up, still practising his line for all he was worth.
Stage manager: You’re on in 10 seconds, buddy!
Actor: Hark, I hear the cannon roar!
Stage manager: 5 seconds!
Actor: Hark, I hear the cannon roar!
Stage manager: You’re on!
Enter actor, stage left.
Sound effect, deafening cannon.
Actor: WHAT THE F*CK WAS THAT?!
Steve
Linguist; retired teacher; pilgrim; apprentice travel writer
Take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints, kill nothing but time
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. (Max Ehrmann)
Linguist; retired teacher; pilgrim; apprentice travel writer
Take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints, kill nothing but time
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. (Max Ehrmann)
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